all night homework binge

As sad as it is to admit, I am starting my final essay tonight. Ideas have bouncing around in my head for the last 2 weeks of course, but tonight is the night for implementation. My thesis statement involves sexuality and video as related to 3 pieces that we watched this semester: Sadie Benning's "If Every Girl Had a Diary," Lisa Steele's "Birthday Suit: With Scars and Defects," and Jennifer Montgomery's "Age 12:Love With a Little l." All three are in different formats and have different uses and representations of female sexuality. Steele uses sexuality not for what it is, but how it represents a nakedness of consciousness, a vulnerability. Benning uses sexuality, but not explicitly in her video. It's ironic because I felt Benning had the strongest impact in her presentation through direct confrontation and conversation. Other artists like Montgomery use jarring images of sexuality and eroticism, yet fail to impact as much as Benning's stare and earnest speech. Montgomery used shock tactics in attempt to create an emotional disturbance. These variations in approach indicate the powerful presence human sexuality holds, even in the experimental realm. I'm excited to write this paper for fleshing out my opinions and insight on such a provocative subject. I'm not excited to write this paper because I'm not sure I can do such a subject justice. Only time will tell.

information age

Kerri's presentation on internet, film, and media was probably the most applicable class session to my major. As a DIVAS major, interactivity between artist and user, as well as between different artistic mediums, are important topics of discussion. It's exciting to be apart of something so culturally relevant and groundbreaking. Every skill I'm learning right now is going to equip me with endurance and innovation to create the science fiction future we've hoped for all along. Robots, complex databases, and saving the world were only dreams of yesterday, but now we've built our superpowers. We're living science non-fiction.

With final project well underway, I've had to conceptualize many projects, based on the integration of various media forms. Particularly applicable to Monday's lecture is my Web Design final project. I'm using various containers comprised of Iframes in order to create a varying visual representation of something that's important to me--drums. Each container will have photographs that will change when clicked. There will also be audio. Each click will result in a different audio loop, creating a similar effect to the interactive orchestra that was demonstrated in class. Except I'm not capable of such a complex interface yet! I don't know how to use Flash yet, but am excited to take a couple classes in the fall specifically focused on multimedia for the web. I do use After Effects extensively in my coursework and I found its applications to web media very compelling.

What's in the future for web media? Film? Any art form? The digital age has so many exciting and unknown things on the horizon that will seem elementary when we look back 20 years from now. The information age is overwhelming, but I can't help but be a part of it.

Sharton Lockhart

Sharon Lockhart's film was difficult to watch. Her work was introduced as "durational," reminiscent of Michael Snow or Nathaniel Dorskey's work, of the ethnographic genre. The film we were shown today (I did not catch the name!!) was filmed while Lockhart was in Japan. There was one setting that comprised the entire aesthetic: a gymnasium with a stage. The progression of the film was defined by the movements of the Japanese students' movement, mimicking that of children marching, playing gym games, or sometimes just organized, rhythmic movement.

The most striking element about Lockhart's work was her composition. This is where Dorskey's influence was quite obvious. Her slow, thoughtful consideration of the subject matter demanded the same intellectual processing as Dorskey's slow examination of "variations." Though Lockhart's background remained constant, her characters and movement provided a means of measuring progress over time. The movement was slow, very poetic. Her shots and transformations over time were purposeful and very structured. Michael Snow's theory of control and accessibility drove the artistic decisions behind the movement. Her shots were simple and controlled, providing a means to put all of the audience on the same level.

Two mediums she used to accomplish this were rhythmic structures and dance movement. Though the film subjects were reflecting common activities that take place in gymnasiums, the movement was very artistic and intentional. The driving rhythm structured the movement, creating a very contained, disciplined motion that demanded a vague sense of plot, yet transcended cultural boundaries through music and created an engaging, and in many ways, interactive experience.

I enjoyed the static nature of the background contrasted with the foreground movements. This technique eliminated any distractions, and developed a very focused attention to the movement progression of the subjects. At some points, even the foreground subjects were static, and arranged in a unique manner, creating a pleasing composition.

Lockhart called referred to her practices as durational. I agree, but would go even further to describe her work and include the technical control of all elements. Although her film that was screened in class was very tiring and sometimes difficult to focus all the controlled elements into a processed scope of interest, it opened a very fascinating window into technical mastery.

Hamilton

Yesterday's viewing of Matthew Porterfield's Hamilton was a provocative experience for me. As I watched the majority of the film, I was engaged by the obscurity of the character relationships, dysfunctional situations, and melancholy disposition of all personalities. I don't think there was one instance of laughter in the entire film! Nothing seemed to tie together until one particular scene: the church scene. Throughout the film, I watched Joe, one of the characters, ignore his mother, depend on vices, and fight responsibility, unable to see how these traits contributed to the plot development...but they were in fact THE driving force of the unfolding plot. Although the majority of the relationships did not require more specification, one relationship did need defining: between Joe and his girlfriend. It was not until the scene where Joe's previously introduced girlfriend gets up with the crying baby to comfort it did I realize what Joe was running from, or perhaps fighting. He was a young father, uncomfortable with where he got himself in life. His girlfriend was probably not the girl for him and he is probably not emotionally mature enough to handle the burdens of fatherhood. Particular scenes supporting these assumptions include Joe's constant smoking instead of taking on responsibility such as putting away the groceries, his roaming to the bar to drink and smoke, his late night video game distractions, and his apathy towards his baby crying, invoking his mother's silent disapproval.

Joe's relationship with his mother is quite fascinating. His mother seems to express disappointment in Joe's situation, but also disappointment in herself for being essentially a failure at being a mother. She doesn't even attempt to speak to him. All communication is accomplished through looks of disapproval, awkwardness, and sadness at the current state of affairs. Their relationship represents the teen angst phenomenon that has gone too far. Joe has made mistakes that teenagers often fall victim to, such as smoking or teen pregnancy, but his mother has alienated him too much beyond repair, at least in the segment we witness.

An observation brought up at the end of class regarding the different age groups being representing really fascinated me. The entire spectrum of life was represented from babies, small children, teenagers, young mothers, older mothers, and finally, grandmothers. This indicated that perhaps Joe's struggles with manhood may have been a driving force in the film, but a comprehensive examination of all stages and roles of life was also an important plot structure.

The last scene of Joe and the younger boy riding bikes was a conflicting yet perfect ending for the film. Was Joe being presenting as still being a boy, riding his bike with young boys, or was he being representing as a parent? A parent whom would soon be teaching his own boy how to ride a bike? Maybe the scene was implying that despite Joe's struggles, he would be able to overcome his personal conflict and be a successful parent. On the other hand, the scene could have been magnifying his will to stay young and manifesting his immaturity that comes with being a young adult, still desperately clinging to the last threads of youth. Personally, I think that dichotomy was the intention of the filmmaker.

One final thought I would like to discuss is the film's aesthetic. I loved it. To me, the film's life quality was what brought the film's impact home for me. To this moment, I'm not sure of the date of the film or what time period was being depicted. For me, it resonated as the early 1990's, the same time period where I was growing up as a young child. The primitive nintendo system, the clothes, and the aesthetic of the cars, buildings, and technology all brought me back to a small house in the Rosholt, WI countryside, swinging on our family's swingset in the backyard in neon stretch pants as my dad returned home from work in his giant brown Oldsmobile. There was a breaking point were I was completely enveloped by this medium, and the swingset scene accomplished it. Beautiful work.

gender, sexuality, and video

Jennifer Montgomery's presentation today was really interesting. Her 2nd piece of work (I don't recall the names of any of these pieces at this point...) delved into very provocative subject matter that was simultaneously striking and disturbing. The work chronicled coming of age and female sexuality, as well as the issue of control. Not only did it deal with sexuality in a general term but seemed to focus on unconventional sexual fantasies and explorations that are often kept quiet within the boundaries of acceptable conversation. Society is more accepting of the discussion of male sexuality, whether it's because of porn notoriety, male's supposedly "dominant" role in culture, or simply because girls most be feminine and submissive. Regardless, Montgomery tackled uncomfortable topics, and depicted upsetting situations very graphically.

I strongly believe that this is something that needed to be tackled. I applaud Montgomery in her unwavering commitment to revealing the incredible awkwardness of female adolescent sexuality. It's been hiding below the surface for way too long. I grew up in a very conservative, Christian home where I was pressured into signing a purity contract on my 13th birthday. Sexuality was for marriage ONLY. Imagine how guilt-ridden I was throughout my teenage years as I grappled with coming of age, being attracted to males, and struggling to determine whether or not I had similar feelings for the female gender?! Even as I am now an adult, making an adult decisions, and decidely straight in my affections, I am still dumbfounded at how incredibly embarrassing and clumsy it is coming to those conclusions, especially behind closed doors so to not disturb conventional expectations to which I must adhere.

Whether or not she was chronicling her own sexual exploration was left debatable, but I feel that she earnestly created a piece to which self-accepting girls can relate. Primal inhibitions are very real and need to be addressed--not hidden underneath a blanket of correctness.



Otherwise, I didn't find her other two works all that particularily interesting. I couldn't really formulate an entire opinion regarding the first piece as it was cut off, but I really didn't find the last work very fascinating. The interviews were so boring to me. I don't know these people that she's interviewing and I don't really care to watch an hour's worth of footage watching them talk about their personal lives and maybe a couple minutes about film. It would be like if I went out and recorded conversations with some of my good friends from the music scene across the country and then making a bunch of people watch it. If you're outside our little scene, you will probably not enjoy it as we'll be talking about unfamiliar people and events that only people in our particular group would understand. Therefore, I thought the last film was very exclusive and above my range of interest.

Project update

Tonight, I go into the video lab at sundown and work on capturing my final project for film 222. As I gathered footage over the past couple weeks, the project took an unexpected direction. I think that's a good thing. When I was staying in Brooklyn, we took the subway everywhere. To enter a subway station, you must walk down dank, dark stairs to a lonely, underground interchange. Across the subway rails, there was another world of people going different ways, but where separated by a massive chasm of rails. This scenario reminded me of one of the themes of my video project: disconnect. So I decided that I would like illusions of a subway interspersed with the storyline. Even the sounds of the subway were lonely, haunting nightmares. I still need much of the actual storyline footage, but it will come together very rapidly I'm sure. For additional sound elements, I plan on checking out an SP Lav this week. I need to record sighing, coughing, and typing sounds.

Though the traveling footage concept didn't reap a whole new story in itself like I may have hoped, it produced an enhancing element for my original idea that I couldn't have brainstormed sitting around in Milwaukee. I love traveling for that reason: inspiration hides in unknown, far away places.

I wish I had thought of this kind of art.

Today's presentation from Vladmir was probably my favorite presentation thus far. She is truly an artist who thinks outside of the traditional, conventional standards of artistic practice. Within her viewmaster art, she combines photography, 3D, sound, storytelling, and a bit of nostalgia to create a wonderfully interactive experience. I am one of those people who owned a view master many years ago, and finally picked one up again for the very first time today. I realized that it's a toy that I always loved, but never really thought about where they came from, or how they're constructed. I want to create my own viewmaster discs and corresponding story! Vladmir managed to think outside of the box, yet took elements that the general population has been familiar with for years.

The most interesting part of the presentation was the construction of the picture panels and packaging. The stories tied everything together and made it all work, but none of them struck me as particularily fascinating. They were fun, most of the time weird, and managed to tell a volumn of storyline in 4 short discs, but I gained the most insight from the aesthetic. I think it's interesting that when Vladmir initially attempted this endeavor, she did not realize the logistics of 3D angling, but rather stumbled upon it in the process. The mechanics of the art enabled two built-in perspectives that added tremendous depth to the story. Understanding those angles almost IS the art of the viewmaster, yet Vladmir possessed enough artistic intuition to piece together crucial elements as she went along. I think that sort of method produces some very interesting results, often times exceeding the creativity of a carefully planned venture.

The exterior packaging of the discs was a whole other art in itself. Each disc was carefully labeled and designed to coordinate with the container. As every packaging was passed to me, I began to imagine what the storyline would be like based on my impression of the artwork. Will it be gruesome? Humorous? Reflective? Then, as the storyline progresses, it as interesting to see how my first impressions were proved or invalidated, and to witness how the artwork was conceived. Often times, the imagery or color scheme of the outer packaging shell was derived from a particular scene in the storyline, or an important frame of events. Ultimately, the packaging provided an elegant and professional delivery, and unimportantly, it also gave me many ideas for painting my room.

It's refreshing to see artists out there turning perspectives of the world upside down. Excellent choice in guest artist.

camera obscuras

Now for my reflections on Ethan Jackson's camera obscura installation exhibit! Camera obscuras are actually something that I was previously unfamiliar with. The concept sounded familiar, but I had never seen the idea put into practice. I was excited to see something new, and Ethan's work definitely delivered for me. When I first arrived at the Kenilworth building, I wandered behind the curtains into the exhibit and looked at Ethan's camera obscura; however, I was not aware of the logistics of the set up! This is an interesting point to note, as I returned to the exhibit following Ethan's talk and explanation with a completely new view of his artwork. My first impressions of the work were of admiration. I immediately realized that the image that which I was observing was the reflection of Prospect Ave., upside down. I love urban imagery. I love the character that is diffused into work that serves to reflect urbanization.Therefore, I immediately took a liken to the work. I also really respect the power of natural lighting. These two factors combined beautifully in the projection. One thing I did not notice initially however, is the subtle movements occuring within the reflection. This would be something that I would learn in Ethan's talk about his work.

Ethan's portfolio work struck me as very impressive. He really had an eye for the beauty of variation over time. His most memorable work, the changing clouds over the chapel, reminded me of Nathaniel Dorskey's dissection of sight sensation or Brahkage's call for a "derangement of the senses." Camera obscuras provide an alternate way to view the world, outside of our rushed real time daily experience. As I watched all of his work as it looped on the screen, every new viewing revealed a new perspective that I didn't see the previous loop. In the chapel piece, the work was especially profound in that it invoked a spiritual aura often associated with chapels and other religious houses of worship. The movement of the clouds combined with the building structure threaded the mystical presence of a higher power with the reality of humans' place of worship on earth. The technique of camera obscura uniquely enabled this particular effect to be possible with its use of light, reflection, and control over movement rapidity.

Following Ethan's presentation, I returned to the exhibit room with a completely new and educated perspective. I noticed the camera holes in the walls, and the glass that made it all possible. I noticed the movement in the trees and how the combined cameras created a unique collage of overlapping images, comprising one large picture. I was able to appreciate the art and the effort that fused to construct such an experience. Ethan mentioned many times that camera obscura is a largely unappreciated art despite its accessibility. I hope to see more kinds of work like Ethan's in the future, as his exhibit and portfolio were rewarding to experience.

mary!

Ethan Jackson post coming next time...

It's about 50 minutes before I leave for Spring Break, which I feel is not enough time to dedicate to discussing Ethan Jackson's exhibit at inova/kenilworth. Hopefully, I will feel fully inspired to write about it as I'm on the road, watching the scenery subtly move and change over time (kind of like camera obscuras!)

For my trip, I will be going to Austin, New Orleans, and New York, bringing my video camera everywhere along the way. My favorite way to tape is gathering tons of footage, then putting together anything possible. I can tape footage traveling in the van, music festival footage from SxSw, Greyhound footage, and footage from New Orleans, when I get to see my old classmates for the first time since I left. It will be weird, thinking about this alternate universe that I left last April, by choosing to come to Milwaukee. I want to capture my experiences and impressions from there, a year later. I want capture my feelings as the occur, as they're happening. And I'm thinking that maybe I will be able to make a successful video out of such footage.

Wish me luck. I feel like I'm a crazy kid leaving in a stinky van to film a documentary. Hopefully the experiences will be fun and fruitful for interesting video making.

Mary!

I would pay lots of money to have coffee delivered to me right now.

I just finished reading Laura Mark's letters from Beirut and found them incredibly interesting. 1.) Because I am an American, impacted by the American media and Bush's decisions, and 2.) Because I grew up in a fundamental Christian household, and therefore was raised in an Israeli-supported atmosphere, and 3.) Because I don't know as much about this conflict as I should. Marks is an intelligent and insightful writer, and her opinion is very respectable and scholarly.It was amazing and tragic to read her first-hand accounts of unjustified destruction, and it's embarrassing to acknowledge that my country supports it. My country attempts to justify the unjustified with political propaganda and hidden agendas. I sit here unshaken and ignorant, and merely accept what's going on out of the mere fact that I'm not motivated enough to learn what's going on and develop a sense of urgency. I can't wait to hear her talk, as I hope her speech is as fascinating as her writign.

I took the time to read the Convulsive Fables as well, but I will need to read it again. It was a bit abstract, and the fact that I don't have any coffee right now is preventing me from a lot of complex thinking matters.

Thoughts on D'est: Beautiful imagery, a little too long, but eloquent. The term used in one of the follow-up questions, "a documentary bordering on fiction," is a perfect summary of my feelings after the film. In discussion, we talked about how the shooting techniques used to film the people created this desire to want to learn more. For example, what's that person's story? How did they get to be doing what they're doing in the minute that we're observing their life? How much was staged? Or did Akerman say, "Show me something you do every day." I kept wanting to create stories behind the people, and I believe the shooting techniques that insinuating this desire were the portion of fiction that is accurate, as opposed to shots being staged. The film had a certain rawness, transparency, that makes it hard for me to believe the assertion of defined, directed acting.

D'est

I'm not sure what to expect with D'est. I think it's going to be an interesting film, but I think it would be a good idea to drink an adequate amount of coffee before coming to my first Monday morning class. I scanned through the readings and read through all the questions for screening, but will do so one more time before class time. Watching one longer film will be a nice change of pace as watching 6-7 short films makes me antsy. Each film becomes a block of time, a checkmark out of the day's agenda almost. I don't think that's necessarily because I'm not enjoying the films, but merely because I'm so enthralled in the rigor of "to-do lists" that I automatically go into "Let's get things accomplished mode." It's kind of a sad state because it seems that it's caused an inability to truly sit back and think about things, but at the same time, it's the very system that's screening these films that's demanding this state of mind from me.

Regardless, an interesting goal for Monday would be to attempt to retain concentration on the film and its content, rather than micromanaging tasks or the progression of questions.

Searching for words...

Tomorrow's agenda is to read the writings for the upcoming "D'est" screeing on Monday. I think I'm going to go to Fuel, drink a bunch of coffee and read all those articles.

Today, I'm going to talk about my next Motion Graphics piece, a Slate creation about myself. I think I'm going to make my best friend video tape me playing drums and my band's show next Friday and use that footage to make a 30-second slate.

Writing in this blog daily? Totally sucks...I don't have much to say about anything anymore. The whole theory of "daily practice" is a good one IF IT RESULTS IN PRODUCTIVITY. However, between yesterday and today, I haven't done anything relevant to this journal and therefore don't have anything to say.

This should count as post #2

My wireless wasn't working at my house last night. So. This is "daily practice" entry #2.

Two projects have come to mind for my Film 222 final project video and my Web Design portfolio entry.

1.) For my film piece, I want to base it off of Peter Lunenfeld's "Solitude Enhancement Machines" chapter in his book USER and a poem that I read a long time ago in Cometbus. There will be a man and a woman in an open, dark room and they will both be on laptops. The camera will watch the clock ticking on the wall then focus on the man. The two are in a relationship, but they do not talk, only type on the keyboard. They manage their files on "feelings" for each other. For example, he asks the girl to marry him via instant messenger and she will navigate to her "feelings" folder, use "excited" and accept. They're sitting right next to each other. The screens fades to black. And so it goes on. At the very end, it finishes with the couple breaking up and the guy simply dragging all his files on her to the trash. This sounds confusing to explain, but it's merely a rough outline.

2.) My friend Sam took an awesome picture down by the lakefront (top image). I want to use that picture for the homepage, then create hotspots around the picture with pop-up text explaining some sort of "first time" or "last time" experience in my life. For example, a hot spot in the sky would pop up "I star gazed with my best friends the last night before I went to college," or something like that. I just thought of that idea yesterday.

Monday would've been a good day to come to class stoned

Here's post number one in the attempt at "daily practice." The question is how will this change my writing--will it affect the style? What I say? I think it will condense my thoughts into smaller segments. So far, it's been natural for me to update once-twice per week. These posts tended to run a bit on the longer side and expressed opinions on a broad range of topics. Tonight, I'll start with what I thought about the films screened in class on Monday.

To be honest, I didn't enjoy this week's series nearly as much as other weeks. There has been films/videos that I've really taken something away from, and there where those I wasn't too impressed with all that much. This week was mostly the latter. i did enjoy Renato Umali's "I Learn Something New Everything Single Day." It was interesting to watch his changing emotions and try to read the underlying journal entry. He put together pieces of his personal histories about every day thoughts. It was unpretentious, interesting, and often times, amusing to read the next frame's musings.

Su Friedrich's "Gently Down the Stream" was a spastic journey through dreams illustrated by shaky, hand-written text and fluttering frames on images. Robert Breer's "Fist Fight" was single images in quick succession fusing into motion. Both of these pieces contained flashing, chaotic texts and images and hard-to-discern content, bombarding the viewer with colors and images. From my notes regarding these two pieces: "I feel like I should've been on hallucinogenic drugs to enjoy these films." Friedrich's work was dark and macabre, attempting to piece together the pandemonium resulting from the dream world beneath our consciousness. This concept seems like a good idea in theory, but really isn't as interesting as one would think in execution. I was bored, confused, and had a headache from the rapid movement of the frames. Breer's film had the same feel and texture, except without a potentially interesting concept. He used considerations of taste and timing, but again, it gave me a headache.

A few quick pieces we watched were Cory Arcangel's "Date Diaries," an awesomely geeky concept, but tiresome to watch for ridiculously long periods of time, Leighton Pierce's "Thursday," Bruce Baillie's "All My Life," and Fred Worden's "Every Day Bad Dream." I enjoyed Baillie's simplistic and energetic imagery related to household activities. I enjoyed this film the same way I enjoyed Nathaniel Dorskey's "Variations."

TOMORROW: Reflections on discussion, and thoughts on my upcoming Film 222 projects...

If every (person) had a (video) diary...

I really really enjoyed this week's theme of personal statements presented on video. Although I would classify myself as someone who prefers editting over actually taping, if I did make videos, this would be the medium that I would choose. If you have something to say, anything, you can say it and make a video that somebody somewhere can relate to. I just finished watching the Screen Dump V-Log festival videos on YouTube and thought they were all really fascinating. Some videos focused on events such as a train stop or a highway during rush hour, but others were just people talking about their lives. Or people representing something other than themselves and talking to the camera (i.e. sadlonelyanimeeye girl or whatever her name was). The one girl, lonelygirl15, had a bunch of posts about one of her friends coming to her play and one of her videos was just her, being excited about him coming to her play. Posts like that make a person think about are there really any limits on "art" or "video art?" Or is a "diary" on screen relevant enough to culture that we all leave with something more when we're done watching? Or is personal statements through video cultivating an entirely new facet of entertainment culture where just like online blogger and myspace captivated the technologically saavy, we're now speaking through video and posting for the world to see?

Regardless, I think this genre of video is the most relevant and accessible because we can all relate to it. As Lisa Steele was introducing the audience to her scars and defects, I couldn't help but think of my own. In Vito Acconci's piece, I felt like I was right there with him in his living room with his striped couch as he confided in me. And I think that's the desired effect of this kind of video and the magic that's contained within it.

Maybe sometime soon, I'll get around to making my own personal statement video because after watching not only the class screenings, but the YouTube videos, I realize that maybe I'm left out of a cultural phenomenon that could make my life a lot more interesting and most likely rewarding.

Some Excursions With Camera

Monday's screenings all seemed to be threaded by the common goal of caputuring images from unexpected perspectives. Stan Brakhage's Commingled Containers and Diane Kitchen's Wot the Ancient Sod were both short excursions into nature's imagery with Brakhage's focused on water and Kitchen's focused on leaves. These films, out of all the films screened, most obviously were linked together by their common focus. Both films attempted to capture a specific facet of nature's changing imagery using techniques of lighting, shadowing, or obscuring. The fact that Brakhage's film was created entirely while testing his camera is a remarkable achievement. While both Brakhage's and Kitchen's films contained stunning footage, I think the concepts behind both of the films were a little weak. Brakhage has an excuse in that he wasn't initially planning on shooting for a film. Kitchen however, was following a concept that in all honesty, I don't necessarily think was that strong or original. It was interesting to note this following the viewing of Nathaniel Dorskey's film, as his concept came across so much stronger. Dorskey managed to intergrate different topics, emotions, imagery, and filming technique into a striking and very authentic portrayal of every day events below our consciousness. Dorskey attempted to film through obstructions and portals, and found scenes that were almost "gritty" in their presentation. A woman behind the frosted window of a coffeeshop in the city struck me the most, as I was reminded of Saul Leiter's very underground capturing of New York City life. He also used shadowing, opacity, lighting, and obscurity to present raindrops on windows, plants and trees near buildings, and many other beautiful phenomenons. Kitchen's film lacked that sort of depth. There were leaves. And they changed. And admittedly, she captured some beautiful footage, but it was like looking at a National Geographic in motion. I have seen pretty pictures of leaves and something about the film as a whole failed to catch my interest.

The other strong film that I enjoyed was Market Street by Tomonari Nishikwa. Although we also viewed his Clear Blue Sky, an impressionist sort of imagery film, I personally though Market Street had more bite. The sharp angles of the buildings and alleys, which were accentuated by the deepness of the blacks and whites, were very successful in this sort of film presentation. I liked the one image per frame method, and as a happy urban dweller myself, enjoyed the different perspectives of a foreign city life. I love cityscapes. I love works that are are very focused on the concepts unique to urban settings. This film catered to these particular interests of mine, so I thought this film was very interesting and provoking.

As for the readings which I mentioned in the last post, I sure am glad that paid really close attention to who wrote which article...yeah right. I guess I should've focused less on the content and more on which specific filmmaker wrote what? Regardless of that terrible, terrible quiz grade I'm going to get, a second read through was useful following the Monday screenings. Stan Brakhage's writings were especially more meaningful following the focus on how the eye perceives different visual effects and perspectives. His first quote in particular makes me wonder what my eye would see or notice if it were not distracted by everything going on in the world around me and in my head. So often, I forget to notice things as I'm fatigued or distracted or focused, etc., and I don't often remember to look around and witness things as we did in the screened films.

Jonas Mekas' piece, I read as a battle cry for more independent thinkers. The article doesn't go too deep, and explains that the creative aspect of the industry needs to be revived under the torturing crush of the coporate world.

Dorskey's article reflects on vision in the same way as Brakhage did. He asks, "Where does vision take place?...Is everything mind or is everything not mind?" A few sentences later, he struck a huge chord with me regarding vision and experiencing life in general. "Sometimes...turning my head to look arond, I realize that what I'm seeing is just an image field shifting, an aspect of my own brain. But then I can experience the opposite and say no, the world is really out there and I'm here looking at it." These statements have very significant philosophical implications that plague my existence experiences all the time. I think he raises issues that can not merely be explained or answered, but just are because they are.

Mary!

There, There Square and So Is This and the readings

I can't figure out why I didn't like There, There Square. The graphic element of it wasn't exceptional, but the author was going for that effect. I think I didn't like the concept as a whole. As the shots moved from text statement to text statement, they didn't make any sense to me. I couldn't figure out if Jackie Goss was just trying to be so abstract that she wasn't making any sense at all, or if in fact there was some really "deep" meaning that I entirely missed. To me, she was making statements that may or may not have been autobiographical, but nevertheless involved "you" in the storyline, and didn't make any cohesive nor memorable statement. I was focused too hard on trying to make some sense out of something until I concluded that I must not have enough substance to understand the underlying profound statement that the video was making.

With So Is This, though trying oh so hard to create deep meanings out of the word "This," it had a message and a reason for the critic to see it. There was an intellectual, and maybe even an emotional value in watching the author's words pop up one by one. It did get tiresome, and the overwhelming comfort of the seat and blackness took over me right before the end, but I might still say that I got something out of the film and can respect the effect that the author, Michael Snow, was trying to achieve.

As for the readings, I thought the most about the first article regarding amateurs and professionals. In a sense, the first couple paragraphs instilled a sense of pride in myself as a reader for being an independent amateur, champion of the "underground." It attempted to ignite the experimental artist's rebelliousness and anti-authority attitude, and encouraging defience against "The Man" and the hypnotising power of money.

On the other hand, money is crucial. For whatever art one pursues. For whatever life activity one pursues. I used to have this mentality of, "I'm so punk because I don't have any money and I live in a punk house in Riverwest and my drums are all beat up and my Chucks have holes in them and everything I do embodies chaos and destruction." Well, maybe not that extreme, but the real necessity of earning a living eluded me for a long time. But after numerous attempts to implement an artistic inspiration, I began running into walls. My camera sucked. I didn't have enough money to own the necessary equipment, software, or computer. I had freedom, but no support, monetary or otherwise. Being an amateur in the underground definitely has its alure of adventure and a gritty edge, but railing too hard against structure and money as a whole is a dangerously stifling attitude.

None of the other articles incited as much thought or minimally, any interest upon first read. Perhaps I'll give them another run-through over the weekend. That's all for now.

Mary

For Sarah Buccheri

Film 201-Intro to Experimental Media Arts Blog!

Hooray!

xoxo

Mary